A CORK couple has spoken bravely about the heartbreak of losing their unborn child and have urged others not to suffer in silence.
Richard Grace and Yvonne Hickey, from Macroom, went through what no parents should ever go through at Christmas time in 2014 – but because of a wonderful Cork-based support organisation, they came through the unbearable tragedy.
Richard Grace and Yvonne Hickey with children Milo, Oscar and baby Lila, who will always know about their brother, Alfie, growing up.
Four months into Yvonne’s pregnancy, the young parents lost Baby Alfie.
Richard told the Evening Echo: “Our lives were turned upside down. We lost our little baby boy Alfie and our lives stopped still for a moment. It’s still a taboo thing for many people. It’s so difficult to face such a situation as stillbirth or neonatal death. We were traumatised.”
“In the weeks and months after, when life was supposed to return to normal, you still have a massive emptiness in your heart, to be able to pick up the phone and have someone who always knows the right thing to say just got us through another week.”
Richard urged those suffering in silence to reach out for help and to know that there are wonderful support organisations out there to help.
For them, it was the support of Féileacáin, a not-for-profit voluntary organisation founded by bereaved parents across Ireland that provides support for anyone affected by the death of a baby during or after pregnancy.
Richard said: “This is unfortunately a regular occurrence for many families and rather than being brushed under the carpet and not spoken about, organisations like Féileacáin make it a little easier to cope with and make sure that your little angel will not be forgotten. My wife and I want as many people as possible in such situations to know that wonderful support is out there.”
Féileacáin offers a befriending service and support helpline, hosts regular support meetings which allow bereaved families space and time to remember their baby, confidential support, memorials and mementos and much more.
Richard said: “Midwife Nilima Pandit and bereavement counsellor Anna Maria Verling were amazing especially and guided us through every step of the way during the first few days when we were just numb. They introduced us to Féileacáin – when your life is at a standstill and your heart is shattered, it is comforting to have someone hold your hand and lead you back to some kind of normal.”
It was the beginning of unconditional support and love from the Féileacáin organisation, which is the Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Association of Ireland.
Richard added: “Féileacáin provided us with a memory box, with beautiful ways to keep the memory of our little angel alive, and a cuddle cot so we were able to bring our Alfie home to meet our family and say goodbye. Our two boys Milo and Oscar got meet their little brother and they treasure their memory teddies from him.”
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